July 21, 2016
Today must be “let’s plan our wedding next to J” day. This is the second one so far. There are many big tables in this Starbucks. It’s a roomy fucking Starbucks. But no. It’s only official if they plan it loudly next to me.
I just don’t get it. Seriously, so many people spend six months planning a two or three event that will precede a rocky three-month road to divorce. I know that’s a douchy thing to say, but if you saw their color scheme, you’d know they weren’t gonna make it, too.
Now the planner is asking, “do you have any other questions?” And the temporary bride to be is coming up with the most random, pointless questions she can think of to extend this meeting as long as she can. “Do you get a lot of destination weddings? Are they mostly men with women? What are their names? Do you like ponies?”
I want to grunt to the temporary groom, (under my breath) “dude … (clears throat) prenup!”